Drazz's house of BLARGH!!!

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/

Stephen Colbert for President?

We bought a new Car today...well, new to us, but it was a lease return. We now own a Chevy HHR. It is fully loaded, and under 20K miles. We got the car for 14,750. this car is great!

http://media.www.dailyemerald.com/media/storage/paper859/news/2007/10/15/Opinion/Japanese.Anime.Destroying.American.Society-3032463.shtml

Discuss

I suppose it has been a while, here is a little recap of life...

Panic/Anxiety Disorder front...I am on a daily medication now. Effexor. It screws a little with me, but for the most part, it has been helping. I have only had issues 2 out of the last 7 days. thats better then 5 out of the last 7.

Mother's Breast Cancer...I haven't heard from her on the results of her tests from a week ago. I still keep hope alive that she will beat this. I learned my stubborness from her, so i have a good idea on how she will fight it.

Guild Wars...I have renewed my love of this game. Eye of the North is an amazing expansion, and now I have a drive to better my characters to beat some of these near impossible solo missions. Lizzy, call me when you are ready to go, I will help ya out sweetheart. Shannon wants to play with ya as well.

Work...Well, things may go better soon. I am in the market for a new job, and took the first step today. I am told I did well enough on the test, so that means I need to knock the Interview outta the park. I am good at Interviews.

Love you all, and thank you for all of your unending support as I go through a really tough part of my life!

I am clear.

No tumors/Abbcess/or seizure symptoms. I do seem to have a cyst on my brain, but he says its fairly normal. Doc wants me to go back in for a second MRI in 3 months to see if there is any change in the cyst. No Change = Good. He perscribed me some meds for my Panic/Anxiety disorder. Sadly, the pharmacy did not have them in stock, so I will have to wait till tomorrow for it. Don't quite remember the name of the meds, but it is an antidepresant that has a lot of benefits for those suffering from panic/anxiety.

Seems like I should be ok for a while. Just need to start the meds to try and clear up the anxiety.

I leave from work and head to the Neurologist to find out if I am well or not. I will let you all know in a few hours whats going on with me.

I am up (and have been since about 4:15) for my MRI and EEG on my noggin. It has been a pretty rough weekend with my anxiety way up. I am afraid of finding out something bad. I am afraid that all of this is not a simple chemical imbalance, and that I might have something really terribly wrong with me. I am no where near ready for that kind of news.

I try and believe everything will be alright, but it is hard.

I won't have long to wait on one of the tests. i should know if something is horribly wrong by tomorrow afternoon. I am actually taking my MRI screens with me today. The EEG, well that takes a week to get the results from. I am not sure if I am as afraid of those results, as they are brain wave readings. The MRI on the other hand...that shows if there is something festering on my brain somewhere.

On the subject of bad news, I spoke with my mother last night. Apparently, the impression I got from her was incorrect. She may have had this tumor for up to 5 years. The doctors are worried that it has spread to other areas of her body. they also said that they were lucky to find it in the first place. It showd up only as a shadow on her mamogram. It is very small, but it has been there for some time. She is going in for a battery of tests as well. I have to try and stay positive for her.

Thought you would get a kick outta this

So, I appologize if it seems like all I am doing is posting bad news and doom and gloom...

That aside, here comes some more...

I just found out that my Mother has been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I am unsure of all the details, I kinda clouded over in shock when my sister called me. i do remember bits of the conversation.

It is operable
she will receive Radiation instead of Chemo


those of you that Pray, if you could slip in a kind word for my Mother, I would greatly appriciate it.

Well, I am home from my trip to the Neurologist. I am not quite happy, but I understand he is doing whats best,

He is setting up a couple of routine tests to make sure that I don't have anything major wrong with me. I will be going in for an MRI on my head, as well as a brain scan. He did say that my symptoms do relate to the onset of seizures, although that is a very rare case.

He would not prescribe me anymore meds though. This is the part that has me a little nervous. I have not been able to function at work without my Xanax for the last few weeks. The Doctor wants me off of the stuff entirely, as he does not like the side effects associated with it. I am unhappy, because it has been working wonderfully for me. Now I need to try and get through my days on sheer willpower alone.

Can't say I am not a little nervous about the results of the tests (once I finally get them done), but I know it is all for the best.

Wish me luck folks, cause I am about to have a very difficult time in my life to try and deal with.

So I finally have an appointment with a neurologist to see if we can't come up with some kind of plan to end the horrible grip that my Anxiety/Panic disorder has on me. I had another pretty bad attack today at work. this time, no pain, no shortness of breath, but a very terrible case of Vertigo. The room felt like it was spinning so bad I couldn't focus on anything. My head felt like it had goosebumps, and the spining was making me so nauseous.

Best part, I told my boss, and he laughed at me and walked away. i have had it with that fucking place. I am done.

So, I suppose what I would like to know from my flist here, do any of you suffer from Panic/Anxiety disorder? Are you on Meds for it? What have you gone through, and how are you coping with it? i need some support from those who truely know what I am going through, as it is very difficult for those who have never had it to truely understand what it is we go through.

I will screen comments for those who wish to remain anon from others, but I really do need some support from anyone who is going through this as well. I need to know that I am not going to lose my mind over this shit.

God I hate bein sick. Damn the post-con Fanboy Swine Flu.

-It has now been 18 days since my surgery, and I am still getting attacks of intense pain in my Abdomen. I really don't understand it in the least. This surgery was supposed to take care of all the pain, and now I am having bouts of pain that are far worse. Worst part, is that my Surgeon says its nothing, and to relax. He can't think of anything to cause this. Not very comforting.

-I have been taking my meds for my panic attacks at a more frequent pace. I don't know what it is, but I really am unsettled about my health condition. I need to set up an appointment with a head Doctor. I can't keep living like I am always afraid of something going wrong with me.

-One bit of stress off my plate, we should have our books just in the nick of time for Anime Iowa this weekend.

-It is time to start looking for a new job. Stress levels in this place are through the roof. I cannot keep doing this job all by myself, and yet they claim there is no money for us to hire a second person to do my job. You would think with us having 30,000 jukeboxes, and only 1 person making every damn hard drive for them, that it would be pretty obvious that I need help. Lets not even think about the fact that in the last week, I have seen "Welcome so and so" emails sent out about new hires for departments that have more then enough staff

-I really need a full nights sleep. I have been pushing myself at full throttle prepping for the convention this weekend.

thats enough for now, I am sure there will be a part 2 to this sooner or later.

well, figure I should give an update for those of you who are interested.

The surgery went off without a hitch. From what I was told, I was on the table for all of 40 minutes. Everything went smooth. The only issue that they had raised is that I was a little too easy to knock out with the anesthesia. Apparently it took quite a while to get my ass up.

Pain has been handleable. I get bad spurts, but for the most part, it feels like I was punched really hard in the gut. I occassionally get sharp shots of pain in my shoulders, but not too bad.

I spent the whole time I have been home on the couch. sleeping off and on. I have had a slight fever off and on for the last 24 hours, but nothing over 100.

Thank you again for all the well wishes on both my journal, and my wifes.

Centegra Northern Illinois Medical Center
4201 Medical Center Drive
McHenry, IL 60050
Phone: 815-344-5000


I will be at the Hospital @ 8:45

Due under the knife @ 10:15

Estimated time of operation: 1 hour.

If all goes well, I am supposed to be released tomorrow afternoon around 4ish.



Thank You to all the well wishes I have received. It has helped with my nervousness about all of this. Love you all

Can you please have her call me if you have the means to contact her. I have lost her number.

As for reason why...

I go into Surgery on Thursday Morning at 10:30 AM in Mchenry to have my Gall Bladder removed.

17 days away...

http://www.gamestop.com/product.asp?product_id=080005

We are gonna be stuck at work a little late. we won't be home till around 7:30 ish

http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/2007/06/ftc_net.html